a relieving calmness

I began my new major today at UNC--Communication Studies. At first I was a little uneasy about the whole thing, but after going to classes, hearing what they were about, listening to other kids discuss how Communications fit into their major (things like Journalism, Mass Comm, etc), and understanding what qualities the teacher valued in a student as well as life, I began to realize that this might be the major for me. I am not far along in it at all, so I definitely don't want to jinx it, but from what I heard today I think I will fit in nicely. With this new major comes the odd sense of relief that I don't think I have felt in years--no more stress over applications to other major programs or schools within Carolina. I am now free to enjoy a semester the way it was meant to be enjoyed--without killing myself over grades and pushing myself so hard that I convince myself if I don't get what I want, the semester was all for nothing. Though I feel this great sense of relief, it does not mean I will not give everything I have to this new major. I am excited to learn new things and be able to actually experience and enjoy my classes without worrying what kind of grade I will get. I think by doing that, I will walk away with the most valuable experience of all. I will have learned to put my all into something without being scared to look bad or fail. These lessons, as well as the ones I learned last semester, will help me go farther in life than any grade ever could. This lets me know that, not only will this be a wonderful semester, but the rest of my college career is going to be an amazing whirlwind of fun, new things, and life lessons.

a fresh blog for a fresh semester...

As I sit up late in my bed (it is hopeless to go to bed early before the first few days of class since the body is so used to staying up incredibly late over Christmas break) waiting for the first day of the spring semester to begin, I honestly can't believe that it is it going to officially start for me at 11 o' clock tomorrow morning. This semester really does emphasize the title of my blog, conforming why I gave it the title in the first place. Last semester was all about trying as hard as I could in school as well as extracurriculars, and realizing that, regardless of what will come of that work in the future, it is important to give everything I have in order to get what I want. Though this semester comes with a new major and a ton of new decisions to make, I think heart and soul are really all I will need to get through it. Doing my best and knowing what is best for me will definitely pay off in the long run, beginning with this semester. With that said, I am excited to embark on a new semester with a fresh perspective on school and what is truly important in life.

a dream fulfilled

As I see the light at the end of the tunnel of a long summer of work, I realize that I have fulfilled a childhood dream of mine without even realizing it. For the past two summers, I have worked as an office assistant at a small auditing company. I work 5 hours a day, 5 days a week in an office of my boss and three other ladies, each of whom has a family at home, kids, and even grandkids. I call TONS of customer service lines, read, respond to, and send dozens of emails a day, send a huge number of faxes, answer phones, take messages, and say things like "You have a phone call on line 2" while I proceed to do that cool thing where you put the phone on hold and are still able to hang it up (which I have always thought was cool and will never get old to me).

As I entered my last week of work, I remembered that, when I was younger, I thought that this would be the job for me-I wanted to be a secretary. I wanted to send emails, answer phones, take messages, get faxes and, yes, put the phone on hold in that cool way. Over the years I have grown to learn that I am a mover-I like to be out and about, working with people, walking around from place to place and meeting to meeting, involving my creative side, and never doing the exact same thing twice. For that reason, I was completely blind to the fact that, for the past two summers, I had been fulfilling one of my childhood dream jobs, and, really, how many kids can say that?

Though I do not get any great what's-the-meaning-of-life-and-what-am-I-meant-to-do kind of satisfaction from fullfilling this dream itself, since it did in fact turn out to be something I realized I wasn't meant to do forever (and the next week I believe I wanted to be a marine biologist, so my dream was constantly changing), I find it interesting that it ended up being a job I did have for some time during college. I also find it interesting that I had the opportunity to have a job like this, and it turned into such a wonderful learning experience about what kind of things I like to do, what my interests are, and how I want to spend the rest of my career life. It's so great to learn these things about myself and get such reasurrance from a simple summer job.

Because of this summer, I have realized more about the kind of person I am-one who likes to move around, interact and channel her creativity-and what I want to do with the rest of my life. For the past two years, I have realized that that is what your 20's and your time in college is about. Grades become less important, and what really matters is the life lessons you learn because of classes you take, things you involve yourself in, people you meet, friends you make, and goals you try to achieve. I think that halfway through college, I have checked off a great deal of spaces on my laundry list of life questions. Though there are plenty more, I feel confident that I will learn all I need to know in order to have, not only the future I am MEANT to have, but the future I WANT to have.

ahh monday..

I have noticed that Mondays always kinda stink...Not only do they put you in sort of bad mood at 8 o' clock that morning when you're up starting your day, but they kind of loom over you on Sunday night too, just constantly reminding you that your late night t.v chill session is about to come to a screeching halt about 2 hours earlier than you would want it to because you have to get up early tomorrow, the dreaded Monday morning. And what's worse, you have way more than 2 hours of your favorite t.v shows on the TiVo to catch up on.

My weekend went somewhat like that...I drove up to Boone on Friday afternoon with Maggie and our friend Giuliana. We were planning to stay with Patrick, Maggie's brother, for the weekend at his apartment. The weekend was so much fun! We ate at Canyons and overlooked a gorgeous horizon, hung out with old friends, met new ones, had awesome custard and witnessed a few funny things along the way. Even though it rained for most of the weekend, it was totally worth being up there just to be able to spend time in Boone and have the chance to hang out with some of my favorite people!

Like all weekends though, this one started to come to a bitter end on Sunday night, and turned into even more of a monday-morning reality when I woke up 1 hour before I was supposed to even think about getting up. Since I for some reason could not go back to sleep, I went ahead and got up for my morning run and figured that I would at least have some extra time to chill this morning and watch Live with Regis and Kelly and the TODAY show, which I love doing every morning. But, of course, Monday morning would have none of that. I started up my computer to put in a workout DVD and discovered the ENTIRE THING had been wiped. Now, I hate these school-supported computers with a passion and knew it was probably capable of something like this, but I just did not expect it to happen now. Nothing was backed up-not music, pictures,  documents or anything. The only thing I really cared about were the irreplaceable pictures from anywhere between high school graduation, my europe trip, freshman year, all the way through this summer along with my school paper photos I had taken, my portfolio and my first photo story. I immediately panicked. I tried every option except for throwing my computer out of the window and giving up completely. Finally, I opened Picassa 3, a Google program for pictures and videos that I had just recently installed on my computer. Immediately, every single picture, including what I had backed up LAST time my computer crashed, was saved!! I guess it has something to do with the program being through the internet or something. Thank goodness for this crazy technology we have today!! The awesome, interesting stuff that is invented every day actually comes in handy!! I watched as every single picture transferred back into Picassa on my desktop. When it was finally done, I backed the whole program and all the pictures up on my exterior hard drive. Oh my gosh, I could NOT believe it--everything was saved! Since pictures are my life, this was pretty much the best.thing.ever.

I guess this Monday sort of had a different message than most. Though it loomed over me on Sunday, woke me up far too early on its morning, and scared me half to death when all I was trying to do was work out, it pulled through and performed a little miracle. Now, I still most DEFINITELY hate Mondays, but at least this one turned out not to suck as much as the others :)

the day is finally here!

My brother graduated tonight! Wow, I really can't believe it! He graduated 5th in his class, helped lead everyone down the aisle, and even got to sit on stage for the ceremony. He looked so happy in his cap and gown :) Watching him sit up on the stage and then walk across and get his diploma, I was so excited for him. I loved cheering him on as he shook hands with the principal and turned his tassle. It is so amazing that he finally graduated and still so unreal. I am very proud of him and excited for what he has to look forward to next year. I am also thankful for all the time the two of us will get to spend together since we are at the same school. We have gotten so close and become such amazing friends, and I am glad we will be close enough to continue that next year.                    

Matt and I

I am also proud of all of his friends. I have seen them around my house for years and even had visits from a few to UNC. We have all become quite close and I am so thankful for that. I am thrilled that I got to see my other brothers Zach, Tommy and Tyler, walk across the stage as well as the rest of Matt's wonderful group of friends. I love them all so much! They have done so many wonderful things throughout high school and are such awesome people - I am lucky to be able to say that I am a part of their lives :)

the graduates!!

matt, me and zach, my brother from another mother :)

me and all my brothers :)

Love you all and congratulations!!

it's actually here..

"Wow" is all I can think at this moment. I just came from my brother's Western High School senior dinner. It's a time when families get together with their graduating seniors, share a meal, reflect on times in the past, and look into the future. Seeing my brother and all of his friends, and my adopted brothers :), participating in this tradition just makes me feel so many emotions. First, I am so excited for them! They have been friends forever and are so pumped to be at this point in their lives. They are going on to great colleges to do amazing things, and my own brother will even be attending UNC with me next fall. I also just cannot believe this time is actually here! Though I have already been through this special transition, things are about to change again. My brother and all his friends, who have become some of my great friends as well, are all spreading out to different places. When I come home for a weekend, it's weird to think that they won't just be in Greensboro hanging out or getting ready to go to a school dance. I won't be able to text my brother during the week and ask where my parents are when I can't get ahold of them at the house. It's just crazy to think that another and the last Lowe kid is going through graduation and the college transition again. I am so excited for him and all his friends. I hope that we all stay close because they really do mean so much to me. And the boys will definitely always be the greatest "other brothers" ever! I love them so much!

my brother and his friends

me and two of the greatest brothers :)

Being at the senior dinner also made me think about the last time I was at one-for my own graduation. It's weird that I am already two years into college-it's half way over. All the things that the teachers were talking about tonight-moving on, graduating, looking into the future-have already happened to me. I'm comfortable in that part of my life and LOVING IT. But sitting there tonight made me think about me and all my friends when WE were at that transition point in our lives. I remember it so well- we were all so close, there was nothing more we could know about each other. We were having the time of our lives and were so excited to all be together for the special occasion of graduation. Though I don't think anyone wishes to be back in high school, I do look back on it and think how blessed I was to have such an amazing high school experience with an even more amazing group of friends. So much has changed since then- some people I still see often while others only sometimes- but it's good to be able to look back and smile about all the times we had. Being around graduation celebrations is a very surreal experience but it lets me remember how great my old friends are, as well as my new ones, while letting me know how my brother and the rest of his friends are feeling right at this moment.

my friends and I just before our senior dinner in 2009

graduation day 2009

i hate summer school...

I just finished reading chapter 17 in my science textbook for my summer school GEO class. I am supposed to also read the lecture notes but I really don't think I can even focus on it. On top of having a five-day-a-week job, studying for summer school is just that little something extra that nags at the back of my mind as a sit at work and think about what I am going to do when I get home. It's next to impossible to concentrate and, for that matter, you can forget about retaining one darn thing. Luckily, since I am taking this class as a visiting student at UNCG, I don't have to pass with flying colors or anything since the actual letter grade doesn't transfer-I just have to pass with a C to get the credit hours checked off of my list of required GenEds. It's a little less pressure at least. Studying makes me wish I could at least be doing it back at UNC. I miss school, my suite and all my friends. Aside from ALL the studying, sophomore year was probably my best yet! I made so many more friends and continued to try new things which I ended up LOVING! I miss being able to walk twenty feet and talk to the Taylors or Sarah and Julia or look directly behind me and see Laura doing homework in our chair, and I always think how much fun it was to all get ready together in the suite before going out to Franklin or a friend's party for the night. Another year gone just makes me nostalgic, per usual :) I am so excited for next year and, while I love summer, I'll be ready when it comes!

Songs from the year heard from all rooms of the suite, usually on a weekend... 

Price Tag

Let Me Take You Out

Teach Me How To Dougie

Did It Again

Buzzin

Waka Waka